Holidaze Rumerz

Happy almost New Year!

PG in "Goat's Gone Wild"

According to many Twitter sources, the Habs are about to trade with 4-5 different NHL teams. Seeing as PG is as easy as a Kardashian, this ain’t surprising. In fact, over the holidays PG took a page out of ol’ Kim’s playbook…That’s right folks! PG’s sex tape “Goat’s Gone Wild” is now available on frighteningscenes.com! Oddly enough, rated PG-13.

Here goes the Rumerz:

Habs in talks with Nashville for Ellis, Bourque, and Tootoo. In return they ship out Kots SR and Campoli.

SIZZLE SAYS: Ellis young offensive D, so absolutely no need there. Bourque, whatever. Tootoo, now that’s what I’m talking about. A tank-like smurf.

Habs have made an offer to Panthers for Jonathan Huberdeau.

SIZZLE SAYS: Yeah, here’s the convo…

PG-Dale it’s Pierre

DT-Buddy! I’m good with my contracts at the moment, check in this summer ok?

PG-Ok I will. Wait no! I’m not doing that anymore. I have an offer for Jonathan Huberdeau.

DT-Ok that’s great! Love the Goat outfit in your sex tape, CLASS! Talk this summer, Campbell can’t  keep this up forever! Peace bitch!

Habs in talks with Columbus. Deal is centered around Kots SR. Habs looking at Umberger, Boll, Brassard. Also rumored Jackets have offered Brassard for Weber and a 4th.

SIZZLE SAYS: Umberger, Boll, yes please. Brassard, not unless they throw in a first rounder, or have the director’s cut of PG’s sex tape.

Habs in talks with Lightning, no details.

SIZZLE SAYS: Malone or Downie please. Or how about we just talk to Julien Brisebois about our soon to be vacant GM position?

Habs trying hard to move Cammy out West.

SIZZLE SAYS: Better get a top 6 with size and some scoring ability otherwise what’s the freakin’ point? P-P-P-PANIC!

Leafs made a pitch for Moen.

SIZZLE SAYS: Good idea. Get rid of the only grit we have. PASS!

 

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.

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About Joe Sizzle

I'm a Habs fan behind friendly lines in Habs Nation. View all posts by Joe Sizzle

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