Hey Ralph, how are ya??
So you want to end fighting in hockey??
That’s cool, because I’d like to end fighting in politics. Or politics in general. Or maybe just fight politicians.
So it’s cool.
We are now sworn enemies.
Not that I disagree with some of your political views, it’s just that…well, however you define yourself (politician, political activist…whatever)…you’re still forever tagged with that p-word.
See Ralphie, I know that you now have this incredibly boring sports website that nobody cares about. For those who don’t know, the site is defined as “a sports reform project founded by Ralph Nader to encourage social & civic responsibility in sports industry & culture.” The site currently features such exciting stories like an interview with some Division III college football coach in Minnesota. I think I’d rather watch highlights of the epic 2005 clash between Mexico and South Africa. Since you don’t like good hockey Raf, here ya go:
Someone needs to replace the sticks with milk crates and just let those dudes kick the puck.
Basically Alf, your idea to ban the on-ice fisticuffs feels kind of like this:
Actually, not really. But I like laughing at that video.
Now what was I saying?
Back to your lame website. I love how you have a “donation” section.
So if anyone out there is jazzed on throwing some cash-money at a dude who was reported to have owned over 3 million in stocks and mutual fund holdings, feel free to do so!
I’m sure you’ll get your dime’s worth reading about how the sports industry needs to improve it’s civic responsibilities. You’ll have the chance to help fund invigorating stories like why bro’s crushin’ Mountain Dew Amp on the slopes is going to kill them.
Anyway, for anyone who cares about your attempt at ruining hockey, here’s a portion of what you wrote to NHL commissioner Gary Bettman:
“Fighting in hockey can no longer be a long-debated issue pitting those who find it barbaric and unsportsmanlike and those who argue that it’s an integral part of the fabric of the game. The growing mound of research on sports concussions and brain injuries has taken the fighting issue to an entirely different level. We’re talking about short-and-long-term damage to the brain, the very foundation of who we are as people.”
Without putting all the readers to sleep—because, honestly…your opinion on this tires me down like eating Ambien while listening to ESPN’s hockey coverage…I’ll summarize how you wrap it up.
Basically, you go on to say “while there are certainly many potential rule changes that need to be carefully examined to make sure they result in a safer game, banning fighting isn’t one of them. It’s clear fighting is not a safe policy.”
Thanks for protecting us…
It’s not like it’s not a nice gesture…but you should stick to your other hippie ideals instead.
(some of those are pretty rad!)
The thing is, there is no need for any politician to get involved in hockey. Sports and politics mix like Habs and Bruins fans.
Should something be done about safety in hockey? Absolutely! Without a doubt!
But I don’t care if I like your politics or hate them…if you want fighting out of hockey—you’re in for a fight!
Because I couldn’t live without this:
Then again, I also write about boxing. What’s next? Eliminate fighting from that too?
Hans Olson can be reached at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @hansolson