Category Archives: Behind Enemy Lines

Behind Enemy Lines: Leafs Bra

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B.E.L.: Return To Sender

In today’s segment of Behind Enemy Lines we ask:

“How many people returned this gem of a Christmas gift over the last two weeks?”


Behind Enemy Lines: Leafs in the John

You can’t even take a leak in Toronto without being subjected to the Maple Leafs.

At least its an article about them starting to suck.


Behind Enemy Lines: Explain Yourselves Molsons!

Where do your allegiances lie!!!!!


(Deep) Behind Enemy Lines: In Maple Leaf Gardens

Maple Leaf Gardens has been closed for over a decade, and I’ve never had the chance to be inside… until  now!

In case you don’t know, the hallowed ground that was the home of the Laffs is now a Loblaws.  Heh, yup, a Loblaws.  What joke can you make there that would be funnier than the fact that its now a Loblaws!

As much as I hate the Leafs, I will admit that they have had some pretty great teams over the years.  Teams that have left blood, sweat and tears in this building.  And right around the spot that, through the ages, saw Maple Leaf players hoist Lord Stanley’s Cup now is home to…

Cheese.

Lots and lots of cheese.

Rows of cashiers now stand where those teams once played, so Torontonians can stand in line, waiting to buy their minced meat, frozen veggies and other groceries and think, “wow, my childhood heroes once skated on this very… what’s that? oh yes I do have a PC Points card.”

This mural is kinda cool tho


Behind Enemy Lines: Christmas Shopping Edition

Ok, Christmas is just around the corner and I found myself at the Downtown Toronto Chapters so I thought I’d share some quick gift ideas with you sports fans.

I was expecting a lot of Leafs related books but I didn’t expect how many Habs related books I would find.  For instance this book with Gauthier on the cover trying to figure out that chances of the Habs making the playoffs.

Also, they had the book Jacques Martin is always scribbling in on his clipboard:

A book about the Habs season:

And advice for their fans:

They even stocked some shopping carts in case any of the Canadiens players show up:

and only in Toronto would the person stacking the shelves put a Canadiens book next to a Golf book, implying something book-shelver-guy?

If you want to find books on all the recent great Maple Leaf teams you’ll have to make your way to the section under this sign:

But if you want a non-fiction book on the Leafs might I suggest this one, it looks like a real page turner:

Or the perfect gift for the Leaf fan that loves to combine the excitement of dice throwing and counting:

And finally something to help him or her count down the days till the Leafs are eliminated:

Happy Holidays!


Behind Enemy Lines: A Habs Fan In Leafs Nation

In my travels in Leafs Nation I came across this beauty:

Ok first off, genius move painting the team logo on a busy downtown sidewalk where everyone can walk/spit on it. (I don’t even wanna know what that dried up liquid on the right is.)  It must be cathartic to yak on it, especially around march/april.

Secondly, what’s the upkeep schedule for this thing, slap a new coat of paint on it every time the Leafs make the playoffs?  Or maybe it’s refreshed every fall to reflect the teams playoffs hopes, fresh and bold in September, and then quickly fading away as the season progresses.

And lastly, I do have to give credit to the Leafs marketing campaign that is in effect here.  “Spirit is Everything” is the perfect slogan for this team, because lord knows “Winning is Everything” wouldn’t be too believable, would it?