Category Archives: Rumerz

Rumerz: 30 Hours Away…

We’re about 30 hours away from what has by far become the most entertaining event of the Montreal Canadiens season: a visit to the sugar shack with uncle Hal Gill! He’s flying back up to take all the kids (Habs)!

Apparently Hal has now become a rapping sensation in Nashville! All his rhymes are about lying down on the PK in Montreal! His debut tape (he keeps it real) entitled “Lying down be hard yo” is now available on the Predators official website!

Time to get serious. We all know I’m referring to the trade deadline here. Who’s staying, who’s going, that’s what we all want to know. Brace yourselves people, with Sir Tomas-Kaberle-is-a-good-idea at the helm, we’re in for a hell of a ride….

And with that, here are the hottest Rumerz on Twitter for you to feast on. Enjoy!

Habs are shopping Tomas Plekanec. Looking for a player for player deal. Rumors have him going to Florida for Jonathan Huberdeau.

SIZZLE SAYS: Here’s what Gauthier and Gainey are really doing until 3pm tomorrow.

Geoff Molson is acting GM until the end of the season. Pierre Gauthier has no power to make any moves. Also, S. Savard is involved in day to day operations

SIZZLE SAYS: I actually believe Geoff Molson as GM would make Gauthier look like Amanda Seyfried to a drunk on St-Paddy’s day. There’s a good lad, um, lass…huh?

Andrei Kots to Nashville for Roman Josi + pick. Habs want Tootoo.

SIZZLE SAYS: PG and BG are huge fans of the Swiss national team’s D-corps. Team Swiss Unite!

San Jose interested in Rene Bourque and AK

SIZZLE SAYS: Oh Rene, you had us all fooled. Wait, no, actually you never did.

Habs still in the running for D. Brassard, though Tampa now has the inside track

SIZZLE SAYS: Yawwwwn. In other news, I just opened a box of Cracker Jack for the first box in five years. It’s still gross.

Habs will retain Moen. Though they haven’t contacted his agent at all

SIZZLE SAYS: Goat will have to serenade Travis for him to stay.

Not much huh? I can honestly say I expected more from these rumor-mongers at this time of the year. Stay tuned for the Aftermath this week! Enjoy the madness folks!

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.

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Deadline Madness Rumerz!

Gauthier preparing for trade deadline

Gauthier is looking to save his job at the deadline

SIZZLE SAYS: …and so Skeletor (Gauthier) fell at the hands of He-man (Molson) that day at Grayskull (Bell Center), vowing to return with a vengeance (make more trades)…

Habs no longer in the running for Jeff Carter, have turned their attention to Colorado’s Paul Stastny

SIZZLE SAYS: Can I just repeat above joke and use Avalanche GM Francois Giguere’s name in Molson’s place?

Another rumor has Carter, Brassard to Habs for Kots, Gomez, 1st and 3rd rounder

SIZZLE SAYS: Remember that movie Get Carter with SLY? Here’s a clip. I don’t care what anyone says, SLY’s badass.

Cunneyworth was told to showcase Darche. Gauthier is looking for a 2nd rounder in return

SIZZLE SAYS: I want to grill then eat one of those long neck dinosaurs on a BBQ the size of a football field.

Weber + 1st rounder to Panthers for Jonathan Huberdeau and Ed Jovanovski

SIZZLE SAYS: Cocaine’s one hell of a drug.

Weber + 3rd rounder for Columbus’ R.J Umberger

SIZZLE SAYS: Everytime I see the name Weber I get a little excited cause I think of Shea Weber…wait that sounds all wrong…

Devils interested in Kaberle

SIZZLE SAYS: Thanks for giving us hope.

Habs will go after UFA Shane Doan this summer

SIZZLE SAYS: That’ll go over well with the french folk.

Wild have offered a 5th rounder for Darche, and have interest in Plekanec

SIZZLE SAYS: Throw in some of that Koivu DNA and you got a deal. Oh in case y’all didn’t know, the Habs are now into the whole cloning thing.

Wings have offered prospect Xavier Ouellet and a pick for Moen

SIZZLE SAYS: YES! Let’s get rid of all our grit and toughness for unknown prospects who everyone in the city will overrate and will never play a goddamn game in the NHL. Stoked!

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.


Rumerz: Set Gauthier Free!

Goat on deadline day

With the trade deadline fast approaching, what could be in store for the Habs? Twitter responds!

Habs and Stars talking Gomez

SIZZLE SAYS: I imagine Gauthier’s reaction will look a little something like this if Gomer leaves town…

PG is in on the Rick Nash sweepstakes, one rumor goes as far as to say Nash WILL end up a Hab

SIZZLE’S FEARLESS PREDICTION: Rick Nash will NEVER be a Hab.

More Penner to MTL rumerz, Moen and Kots to Kings. Another rumor involving Kings is Kots vs Matt Greene

SIZZLE SAYS: Penner will immediately challenge Gill to a pancake eating competition in an attempt to strip him of his King Ent championship belt.

Habs interested in Sharks’ Douglas Murray. Moen the other way

SIZZLE SAYS: Does Gauthier need an interpreter to go over the standings with him?

Another Moen rumor has him going to the Penguins

SIZZLE SAYS: Hope the weed is good over there.

PG is close to acquiring Brandon Dubinsky from New York for Plekanec and Weber

SIZZLE SAYS: I keep picturing Glen Sather as the Monopoly man pissing all over Gauthier’s precious Baltic Ave.

A. Kots wants current salary extended 3-4 years. He is not looking for a raise, and wants to stay in MTL

SIZZLE SAYS: Goat to A.Kots “Wow, that’s really nice. I mean that’s really rare in this day and age. You must really like it here huh? Ok, so here’s your plane ticket…”

Chicago is interested in Kaberle

SIZZLE SAYS: A glimpse into the future…After pulling this deal off, Goat is seen getting down with Travis Moen to this song. He proceeds to convince Travis of the potency of the stuff in Pittsburgh, gets on the phone, and POW another PG special.

Oilers offering mid round pick for Diaz

SIZZLE SAYS: Habs PG approved 2012-2013 slogan: Cause helping others is what we do.

PG has an offer on the table for Jeff Carter

SIZZLE SAYS: Goat’s favorite game!

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.


Runnin’ Wild on Darcheamania Rumerz!

Here is your weekly rumor roundup as per our pals on Twitter!

Gomez will be dealt by deadline or waived shortly thereafter if there are no takers. Also rumors Gomez has told management he will retire at the end of the season!

SIZZLE SAYS: Gomez wants to focus on his true calling.

Habs interested in acquiring Chris Stewart of the Blues

SIZZLE SAYS: Remember Trouble, the game? Now THAT was entertaining.

St-Louis willing to give a 3rd rounder for Darche!

SIZZLE SAYS: Thanks Gazoo!

Oilers have an eye on Yannick Weber, as do the NY Islanders

SIZZLE SAYS: I spy with my little eye two Gm’s that are just as bad as Gauthier.

Habs are interested in Columbus’ Jeff Carter, Plekanec + would go the other way

SIZZLE SAYS: A day in the life of Carter in MTL…wake up in dressing room, practice, pass out, wake up, play game, score two goals, leave energized, rip St-Laurent a new one, waterboard Crescent street, get chummy with local fuzz, pass out in Habs dressing room, wake up, repeat.

Habs are trying to trade for Alexander Radulov’s negociation rights

SIZZLE SAYS: Gauthier must’ve missed this.

Canucks offering 2nd round pick for Moen, Chicago offering Bickell. Senators, Sharks also interested

SIZZLE SAYS: Hope the weed is good in those city’s.

Habs interested in Mike Ribeiro of the Dallas Stars

SIZZLE SAYS: Shit’s about to get REAL.

Patrick Roy has already been signed as next Habs head coach, to be announced at season’s end

SIZZLE SAYS: You have to admit that picturing Roy behind the Habs bench completely losing his shit is a hell of an entertaining thought.

Bruins interested in good ol’ Hal Gill

SIZZLE SAYS: Chara + Gill duo…ENT’S UNITE!

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.


Accepting the Golf Course Rumerz

Markov's best play of the season

Here are the latest and craziest Rumerz on the Twittersphere. Enjoy!

There is talk of Habs PK Subban vs Jets Evander Kane swap

SIZZLE SAYS: That’s the most racist shit I’ve ever heard.

Ryan Getzlaf is still Habs number one priority. Some combo of Subban, Pleks, Kots, Weber, Gallagher, Leblanc, picks.

SIZZLE SAYS: Combo also includes entire 2011-2012 roster, a Starscream transformer, and one of those pen’s you can write upside down with.

If Habs land Getzlaf, they will go after Kings’ Penner to try and re-create old chemistry

SIZZLE SAYS: Brilliant! Can we also bring Gretzky and Kurri out of retirement? Hmm, actually, can we? Seriously.

Speaking of Kings, they are going hard for Moen, offering Stoll. Others say the deal is AK and Moen for Stoll and Penner. Habs also interested in Jack Johnson, and Dustin Brown

SIZZLE SAYS: Negociations between Goat and the Kings going a little something like this.

Hal Gill, Black snake Moen, picks for Chicago’s Brent Seabrook

SIZZLE SAYS: Hawks GM Stan Bowman would have to be spending way to much time with Black Snake Moen to pull the trigger on this…

Campoli will be dealt for a pick shortly. Also a rumor of Campoli for Colorado’s Cody Mcleod.

SIZZLE SAYS: We’d be lucky to land a Kathy Bates blow up doll for Campoli at this point.

Again with Colorado, Habs interested in David Jones, Weber on the table

SIZZLE SAYS: John Dillinger style!

Plekanec is on the table as part of a package for Anaheim’s Bobby Ryan

SIZZLE SAYS: Row row row your boat, gently down the stream…

Habs have made offers to Nashville and Columbus for Ryan Suter and Derrick Brassard, respectively

SIZZLE SAYS: Can we PLEASE trade for Ox Baker instead?

Devils Clarkson for Habs’ Weber

SIZZLE SAYS: Dear Rumor people, stop being stupid. Regards, Reality.

Habs interested in Oilers Ben Eager and Theo Peckham. Another rumor with Edmonton has Hemsky and Sutton coming to Habs

SIZZLE SAYS: Pass the salt?

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.


Patrick Stewart brings you: All-Star Rumerz!

Make it so Count, Make it so

Intro’s bore me. Let’s get to the goods:

Habs looking at NJ ‘s Parise, would have to give up 1st rounder plus. Also interested in Clarkson

SIZZLE SAYS: Giving up this year’s first rounder would certainly move Gauthier into contention with Reggie Houle for Best GM of all time.

Habs interested in Kings Jarret Stoll, Kyle Clifford, Andrei Loktionov, D. Brown, D. Penner, Matt Green Kings looking for A Kots, Moen, Weber

SIZZLE SAYS: Habs also interested in acquiring the city of Hollywood, Kobe Bryant, and the Terminator’s bastard child.

Habs interested in Buffallo’s D. Roy-who may already be looking for a house in MTL

SIZZLE SAYS: Hey Derek, got a lead on a new place for you. It’s near the airport, big, looks like a plane, and it brings your ass right back to Buffallo.

Habs interested in Blues’ C.Stewart

SIZZLE SAYS: Patrick Stewart is the best Captain ever to grace the set of Star Trek.

Gomez to Phoenix?

SIZZLE SAYS: I plead the fif

Kots will be signed for 3 yrs/10M, or dealt by deadline

SIZZLE SAYS: We may score a goal tonight, or we may not.

Habs interested in Getzlaf. Package would include Subban. Also interested in Ryan.

SIZZLE SAYS: Can all you PK haters just shut the f&$% up already? Our D is terrible, and you want to trade our best defenceman?!

Habs interested in Staal, Canes asking Pleks and Subban. Another report says Pleks + AK46 for Staal, 3rd rounder.

SIZZLE SAYS: Why is Carolina still in the NHL?

Habs interested in Stastny. Pleks + Weber the other way.

SIZZLE SAYS: Shooter!

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.


No more Cammy Rumerz

Happy Monday to all!

Joe Sizzle

First off, I’d like to clear something up. I received several e-mails after my last Rumerz column saying I was a fake, a fraud, etc. etc.

To be clear, I am not an inside trade rumor source. These are not my rumors. What we do at PB, is collect the best/hottest Habs related trade rumors off Twitter, and comment on them. So instead of you scouring the net for your Habs rumor fix, it’s all right here for you.

‘Nuff of that, here goes the Rumerz:

Habs interested in Stoll, J.Johnson. Also rumor of a Gill for Penner deal straight up.

SIZZLE SAYS: Good ol’ Hal Gill. Gonna miss the friendly giant. Remember how great he was in this movie?

Habs talking to ‘Canes interested in T Ruutu, Gleason/Allen, Sutter

SIZZLE SAYS: Yes more useless D! Ruutu/Sutter sounds good though. Pick a smurf Rutherford, any smurf.

Oilers want Weber or Campoli, offering Peckham/Eager

SIZZLE SAYS: What is toughness? Is that when people hit each other? Us Hab fans can’t recall.

Price + PK for Getzlaf, Hiller, Fowler

SIZZLE SAYS: Riiiight. I want to be the first person to walk on Pluto. Next.

Habs interested in Paul Stastny, Pleks + pick+ D-Man

SIZZLE SAYS: I’ll take Pleks thank you very much.

Habs still interested in Brassard

SIZZLE SAYS: Can I get a cup of coffee, 1 milk 1 sugar. Thanks.

Habs looking to deal A. Kots at deadline

SIZZLE SAYS: Absolutely. Trade a big winger who hits and consistently scores 20+ goals a year. Who needs him!

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.