Deadline Madness Rumerz!

Gauthier preparing for trade deadline

Gauthier is looking to save his job at the deadline

SIZZLE SAYS: …and so Skeletor (Gauthier) fell at the hands of He-man (Molson) that day at Grayskull (Bell Center), vowing to return with a vengeance (make more trades)…

Habs no longer in the running for Jeff Carter, have turned their attention to Colorado’s Paul Stastny

SIZZLE SAYS: Can I just repeat above joke and use Avalanche GM Francois Giguere’s name in Molson’s place?

Another rumor has Carter, Brassard to Habs for Kots, Gomez, 1st and 3rd rounder

SIZZLE SAYS: Remember that movie Get Carter with SLY? Here’s a clip. I don’t care what anyone says, SLY’s badass.

Cunneyworth was told to showcase Darche. Gauthier is looking for a 2nd rounder in return

SIZZLE SAYS: I want to grill then eat one of those long neck dinosaurs on a BBQ the size of a football field.

Weber + 1st rounder to Panthers for Jonathan Huberdeau and Ed Jovanovski

SIZZLE SAYS: Cocaine’s one hell of a drug.

Weber + 3rd rounder for Columbus’ R.J Umberger

SIZZLE SAYS: Everytime I see the name Weber I get a little excited cause I think of Shea Weber…wait that sounds all wrong…

Devils interested in Kaberle

SIZZLE SAYS: Thanks for giving us hope.

Habs will go after UFA Shane Doan this summer

SIZZLE SAYS: That’ll go over well with the french folk.

Wild have offered a 5th rounder for Darche, and have interest in Plekanec

SIZZLE SAYS: Throw in some of that Koivu DNA and you got a deal. Oh in case y’all didn’t know, the Habs are now into the whole cloning thing.

Wings have offered prospect Xavier Ouellet and a pick for Moen

SIZZLE SAYS: YES! Let’s get rid of all our grit and toughness for unknown prospects who everyone in the city will overrate and will never play a goddamn game in the NHL. Stoked!

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.

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Rumerz: Monday Morning Madness!

Only in America. Yup.

We have names folks! Names! Umberger, Huselius, and Tyutin are the players targeted by Pierre Gauthier. Of note, these names were discussed prior to the Kaberle deal. Goat is desperately trying to include the Columbus Blue Jackets ice girls in the deal, but has been told they aren’t available.

More Rumerz the Habs are after a big center. Carolina’s Eric Staal, Colorado’s Paul Stastny, Anaheim’s Ryan Getzlaf, and a certain someone from the Tampa bay Lightning. In other news, Montreal policemen have grown wings and can now patrol our streets from the sky!

Couple of interesting one’s: Travis Moen for Dustin Penner straight up. Hmmm. And Habs interested in Blackhawks left winger Byron Bickell.

And finally, the Yannick Weber derby is on til the break of dawn! Hawks, Devils, Oilers, Isles, Lightning all interested. Habs are looking for an I O U in the shape of the Simpsons’ Chief Wiggum.

That’s all she wrote folks!

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.

Friday Morning Rumerz

This week was brought to you by:

I'll take care of goat for ya...haven't you seen my movies?

As with most struggling teams, lots of Habs related internet chatter this week. Here’s a recap:

-As PB reported earlier this week, the Habs are talking DEAL with the Blue Jackets. RJ Umberger has been singled out, but it seems the deal could also involve another Jackets winger AND D-man. No mention of return just yet.

-Also reported on PB last week, the borderline ridiculous Iginla to Montreal Rumerz. Word is the Habs are now also looking at Flames defenseman Scott Hannan to shore up their blue line…ahem ahem…pathetic…ahem.

-New Rumerz today have the Habs talking with the San Jose Sharks. Ryan Clowe and Torrey Mitchell are the names circulating. Who the hell is Torrey Mitchell? Once you’ve answered that, I ask, WHY??

-Oh and of course the Bryan McCabe Rumerz…crickets…

Here’s a pic if you’re as bored as I am:

Back? Cool.

-According to many, Geoff Molson has almost reached his boiling point, and could re-examine the possibility of replacing both Gauthier and Martin. One name that keeps popping up is Detroit Red Wings assistant GM Jim Nill. Let’s hope Jim can speak french.

-There is also talk that Gauthier himself is unhappy. Not because his team blows, no. That’s cool. Apparently he’s unhappy because Bob Gainey is actually still running the show. Gauthier is apparently willing to step down at season’s end if he isn’t finally given full control. Oh, OK, well PEACE Goat, whatever.

That’s all she wrote kids.

PuckBandits – One stop Habs Rumerz shop: The jokes are made up but the Rumerz are real.

Habs after Umberger?

Yes! Finally traded! Oh wait, to Habs? Um, do I have a NTC?

Word is after last night’s game GM Pierre “Skeletor” Gauthier contacted Blue Jackets GM Scott Howson for dinner at “The worst team’s in the NHL steakhouse”.

No in all seriousness, it looks like the Goat is interested in acquiring RJ Umberger.

A durable 6 foot 2, 220 pound center with a 3.7 mil cap hit….is Goat still working for the Habs?

Stay tuned.